The picture you see to your left was drawn by my 8yr old daughter the other day. Can you tell she was mad at me? I cant even be upset because she has a right to her feelings. I hate when she is mad at me but I guess that comes with being a mom. 

I know its impossible to protect your child from ever being embarrassed or hurt but today I wish it were. I remember those moments, how it felt, how it followed me. Still to this day some of the cruel things kids did and said effect me. I realize that it is unrealistic to want, it just hurts me to see her hurt.

Today, I received a call from my daughters teacher saying that there was an situation towards the end of the day. She sounded very concerned as she explained to me that Jazmyn had an accident in class. At first I thought maybe Jazz had pooped in her pants. You see she has a medical condition that causes her bowels to get backed up and then it hurts for her to go so she holds it. In the end she ends up smearing in her underwear. I was very wrong at this assumption.

My understanding is that they were playing a game called 7up and she just wet herself. The teacher says Jazz didn't ask or show any signs of having to go. She didn't even acknowledge the fact that she had wet herself, just kept on playing. One of the other kids just happened to notice the puddle and pointed it out to the teacher. In doing so, the other kids became aware of what had happened. All the children started laughing at her, making fun of her for what had happened. When asked Jazz told the teacher "A pipe must be leaking". Poor kid either really had no idea or was too embarrassed.

To make things worse they never changed her clothes. The teachers excuse was it was ten minutes before boarding the bus but I feel that's a poor excuse. If they had called me, I would of gone to get her. Instead she had to sit in pissed clothes all the way home. It must of been torcher for her. I cant even imagine how she must of felt. Some of the kids in her class are on her bus and you know just as well as I how cruel kids can be.

When she came in I didn't mention it at first. I was thinking she would talk to me about it on her own time. She was very quiet, just stood in the living room watching TV for a few minutes before I asked her what had happened at school. Her response was nothing, she was so embarrassed that she didn't even want me to know. I wanted to let it go but couldn't. She needed to get cleaned up and changed. When I finally got her talking, she told me the same thing she told the teacher " A pipe must of leaked". I didn't want to pressure her but I needed to know, so I told her to come to me so I could check her. She refused, told me that she had an accident. I told her she should go get cleaned up and changed. As she walked into her room she started to cry. I felt so bad, I wanted to cry with her. Its so painful to see your child hurting like that.




To be continued...

 It's report card time! Normally this is not a stressful time for me. My daughter does well in school with very little difficulties. She has always had trouble staying focused but this has not held her back much. The school she goes to has been very supportive, giving her the help she needs even though she doesn't qualify for it. They allowed her to wear headphones if she felt distracted, played classical music for a calming environment, even placed her in a class with 3 or more teachers. Her teacher from last year is still involved, checking up on her every once in a while.

 I got her report card this week. She dropped in everything, went from a straight A student to a B-C student. I am so disappointed. I know that she is passing but I just don't want her to start slacking. I know she is capable of more. To make it worse I had a meeting with her teachers and got some bad news. When I walked into that meeting I wasn't prepared for what I was approached with. They feel that Jazmyn has trouble processing and want to send her for testing. They feel that she is an amazing kid but struggles to keep up. How do I take this? She has been a straight A student up until this point, what more do they want. She is even still passing.

In my heart I know they are just trying to look out for her. Trying to make sure she will get and continue to have the help she needs now and in the future. I should be thanking them, being grateful that I have people looking out for my daughter but instead I am unsure how to feel. My emotions are going crazy! Maybe just because I don't want to except that there might be something wrong, that she might struggle through life instead of walk through it as I pictured. I am so pathetic, sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I didnt even notice that my child was struggling.

Something else is bothering me about the meeting though. I felt as if they were questioning my parenting. At one point they told me that she seemed very stressed, that I should be careful how hard I push her. Maybe they are right. I am pretty hard on her, I just want her to know how important a good education is. I don't want her to be like me, struggling to get a job because I only got my GED. It was really hard to say that! Once again I have made this about me. What kind of mother am I?

Part of her struggles probably come from the fact that I am not as involved as I was or would like to be. As all of you already know my son at 22months is still not talking very well. He says very little and what he does say he isn't consistent with. Screaming seams to be all he does anymore. Due to his need for my undivided attention I haven't been consistent with my daughter. Often sending her off to due her homework instead of sitting with her to do it, forgetting to test her on her words or being unable to read with her at night. She needs this but I am struggling to give it to her.

Her grades are not the only thing changing for the worst. She is more disrespectful and argumentative lately. My baby girl wants my attention so bad that she will take any at all. I don't want to spend my moments with her upset and yelling. I would rather shower her with positive attention but its been so hard.

Now that I got it out I have to tell you that I have made some changes. I have made it a nightly routine to brush our teeth, hair, then cuddle and read together.(the three of us) On the nights that their father doesn't work he is in charge of occupying Jaidyn while I help jazz with her homework. I have also made a promise to myself and daughter not to be so hard on her. After all she is just a child! I hope that by making some changes at home and allowing the school to do the testing, if necessary even get her the help she needs will help her.

My 8yr old Jazmyn is just out of control. She seems to think the whole world revolves around her. Everything is an argument. Sometimes I wish she would just shut up and do what I asked her to do. At 8yrs old I don't think its too much ask for her to stop whining and just do it. Its gotten to the point where I don't ask her anymore, I tell her. This way she doesn't think I am giving her an option. Its like she regressed, like I'm starting all over again. I knew that when I had my son things were going to change but not like this. Her behavior is unexceptionable, we have done our best to keep things as they were. Its hard to give 100% of you to two kids at the same time. I have learned that this is impossible, I am only one person! Jaidyn is still very young, therefor needs more tending to.

 The word spoiled keeps getting thrown around when discussing my daughter. A spoiled child (also called a spoiled brat!) is a child that exhibits behavioral problems from overindulgence by his or her parents (don't forget everyone else!). Yes, I admit my daughter was and is very spoiled. In fact spoiled could be my daughters first name for. What she wants she has got and more since she was born. If we didn't get it for her someone else did. In my defense she was supposed to be an only child. Maybe its guilt but what do I have to be guilty for (having Jaidyn?). If you ask her she will tell you " you don't pay attention to me, your always yelling, we don't do what we used to and most of all I don't get everything I did before. Although that's not much of an excuse is it? I find myself always wanting more for her, yet at the same time knowing she needs less. Part of my problem is I want to give her everything I didn't have and more. Again I admit I have taken this to another level. Now I have to fix the problem but Im having a very hard time doing this.

I don't expect very much of her, she has to do well in school, keep her room clean, keep her laundry off the floor, feed and water the dog (sometimes the cat). In her eyes I am asking too much, so she fights me all the way. It takes her hours to clean her room when its a 20 min job if that. Most of the time is spent whining! She would rather throw her clothes on the floor then take the few steps to the laundry basket. I have to say this drives me up the wall. Most of the time I even end up feeding and watering all the animals. The one positive thing is she does very well in school! Which I admit is most important to me.

Lately due to her behavior I have been yelling a lot and being very negative. At times you could probably see the steam coming out my ears. She is truly making me that frustrated! On Thursday night I told her that her room needed to be cleaned Friday night in order for us to do anything over the weekend. It wasn't that easy! She fought with me, telling me that she thought I had already did it. Are you kidding me, all she had to do was look around! I did pick up the blankets off the floor and fixed her couch but that was it. So in the end nothing got accomplished. I sent her to bed at 6:00pm cause I just couldn't deal with it. It didn't end there because every time I turned around she was out of her room playing or watching the living room TV. She has a habit of just ignoring me.
Saturday, I didn't want to stay home and fight with her about her room so we visited her aunt Char.(even though she didn't deserved to go no where!) We had a good time, even ended up staying the night. It was nice to spend some time with them. Char and I stayed up playing just dance till we dropped. We haven't spent time like that in a while. On Sunday,Char had plans to go sleigh riding and we decided to meet up at the hill. We got home around 10:00am to get dressed and head out to meet them. Even though Jazz still hadn't cleaned her room! She gave us such trouble getting ready I was about to cancel and just stay home. Her problem was she wanted to place her gloves on before her boots but then couldn't get her boots on. When she was told to take the gloves off to do it she freaked. Instead she wanted me to just put the boots on for her. WTF! Just do what I said. If you cant get your boots on with your gloves on take them off! Seriously as if I didn't have enough to do. Finally I yelled out " Take your gloves off and put your own fucking boots on or we don't go!" An hour later, she finally did it. Her father felt we should just stay home but I felt like that would of been unfair to Jaidyn plus I couldn't get a hold of my sister. After sleigh riding everyone came over for lunch. After everyone left it was time to tackle what I had been stalling on. Once again she fought about doing it saying " I didn't even make the mess". I finally gave up, placing everything in a pile in the middle of her floor. She had off school Monday and her father off work so we had plans to make it a family fun day. The one stipulation was that her room needed to be cleaned before we had to leave for Jaidyn's dentist appointment. I guess she was just as sick as me of arguing about it because she had it done.

We ended up going to Friendly's for lunch, then the arcade, and then Funny-E Farm. She was nasty at lunch, extremely greedy in the arcade but did OK at Funny-E Farm until it was time to leave. Do you see what I mean by spoiled! I just wish that she would be more grateful even appreciative of what she gets. Instead nothing is good enough!

Let me first start off by telling you that my daughter is a straight A student. She rarely gets in trouble in school and the few times she has were for chatting in class. I am extremely strict when it comes to her education because I would like her to succeed. What I am about to tell you might be shocking because it was for me. I mean she is only eight years old to pull such a stunt.

Wednesday when I asked Jazmyn if she had homework she told me " No, I did it on the bus". I was extremely busy so I just took her word for it.(that was my first mistake) You see, Gus and I had made plans to have dinner and see a movie before he left for San Diego on Thursday. I had to get everything cleaned up and the kids  packed to go to their aunt Kim's. I'm not even going to get into it right now but we ended up not going at all. We got home around 7:30- 8:00 and so I started to get thing set for the next day while she changed into her PJ's. Everyday I have to review and sign her organizer. When I was reviewing her work I realized that it wasn't Jazmyn's hand writing. I lost it! Not only did someone else do the work but they put wrong answers. I know my daughter knows that 9+2 doesn't equal 4.

I demanded to know who had done the homework but she just kept saying " I did it" "I told you I did it on the bus". She even tried to convince me that she could write like that but only in school. I told her I knew she was lying and that she needed to tell me the truth now because the longer she waits the more trouble she would be in. Still she insisted that she did her homework. I even showed her how everyone's hand writing is different but she didn't break. I was already mad about what had happened at their aunts house and had absolutely no PATIENCE for her crap. At this point I had enough, so I took her homework and ripped it to peaces. She freaked out saying "I'm gonna get in so much trouble" "My teacher is going to be so mad".  I than started to look at the work in her folder from the week and realized it had occurred more than once. I probably would of caught it earlier if I was the only one checking her work. I had appointments this week, so some days Gus did it with her. He never checked her work when she said that she did it on the bus. This was my breaking point!! I told her I would be visiting her teacher the next day and sent her to bed.

In the morning I asked her once again before school if she was ready to tell me the truth. She continued to lie. I needed a second opinion so I brought the work even the ones I ripped up to show her teacher. The teacher agreed that this was not her writing.  She than explained to Jazz that everyone's hand writing was different, that there was no use in lying because we already knew someone else did it. The teacher reassured me that Jazmyn would be doing the work over at snack time and that they would keep a eye out. I felt like we had still gotten no where because Jazz still insisted she had done it but at least someone else saw it too. After leaving the classroom I went to see the principle so he could deal with the other child. I knew exactly who the girl was. It was Lisette, one of the 4th graders that live in the park too. The principle said he would be discussing the situation with her and her parents. I still question whether I took it to far getting the other girl in trouble but whats done is done.

When Jazmyn got home from school I figured I would try asking her one last time before grounding her for life. I very calmly said "Are you ready to tell me the truth yet" but she shook her head no. A few seconds later she said "Lisette took my homework and did it but I didn't ask her to". I explained to her that if that was the case she should of told me when I asked her about her homework not lied about it. I told her that lying about it just made things worse. That If she would of said something when she got off the bus that day I wouldn't of been mad and she wouldn't be grounded.

I am very disappointed in my daughters actions and can only hope they wont be repeated in the future. I am being told that me grounding of three days isn't sufficient but I feel like this is her first time pulling something like this. Her father wants to ground her till the 30th but I feel like that is too harsh.  Her adopted grandma says to ground her for 2 months but that's even harsher. I don't want her to do this again, so I know she needs to see that her action have consequences. Where do you draw the line? It seems like I'm so good at giving everyone else parenting advice but do it with my own kids.