Im Screaming Inside: family

Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

The last 24hrs

Tuesday, January 11, 2011by Melissa | 3 comments | Labels: boys, early intervention, family, mother, Potty, Potty training, toddler, toddlers

In the last 24hrs I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Not only struggling with the normal ups and downs of life but so much more. I am sad, confused, numb, hurt, happy, and satisfied all at the same time. Is this even possible? I am going to try to sum it up for you but bare with me if I start to babel a little.

Yesterday my morning started out pretty awful. It started with an awful fight with my mother which has still not been resolved. This is going to sound terrible but I am having some difficulty accepting her behavior. She just is being very selfish, irresponsible and lazy. Her priorities are not where they should be. All I did was make an doctors appointment for my niece. The poor thing has bad acne on her face and my mom (her care giver) was too lazy to make the appointment. She has time to go out with her boyfriend and play online but its too much to make an appointment for a child who cant make it herself. When I called to let her know I made the appointment she freaked, told me to cancel it. She said that she would do for her and to stop stepping on her toes. The funny part about this is, she is the one who gave me the insurance cards because she depends on me to make the appointments and take them usually. In my opinion I was doing what was best for my niece. How am I stepping on her toes if she doesn't even put her feet on the ground. She does nothing but sit on her ass all day or screw around with her new boyfriend. In the past few years I have watched her change for the worst. I have fought to keep my mouth shut for fear I would hurt her feelings. Why should I worry about hurting hers when she if hurting my niece and nephew. She has my 13yr old niece and 14yr old nephew doing things the mother should be doing. Tell me something If you stayed home all day and did nothing would you expect your children to cooking her own meals, find their own rides to and from her cheer practices, bring their own laundry to the laundry mat as well as go to school, homework, and clean? (there is so much more) She wants good grades but when do they have the time. I think all kids need to learn responsibilities but she takes it to another level. It just isn't realistic in my eyes to put so much on a child. Right now they should be being kids and concentrating on school.Well enough about that, I have to move on because I'm getting chest pains.

Although I had a rough day my evening ended in smiles. My son had been running around the house in just his diaper. I just hadn't got him in his PJ's yet due to my daughter needing help with homework. When I was finished helping Jazz I just couldn't bring myself to move, so I just sat with her for a while. Out of no where my son comes running into the room with his etch a sketch in hand demanding my attention. As he handed me the toy I realized his diaper was missing! What the hell, how did he manage that. I got a new one and put it on him not realizing that he had just made a huge accomplishment. After I had visited the bathroom and realized he had dumped apple juice all over his potty, or so I thought. After a minute I put it together, it wasn't apple juice. My son had used the potty all by himself. We haven't even started potty training yet. I guess this was his way of telling us he was ready. I'm not going to argue that, diapers aren't cheap!

Today, I finally heard from early intervention after weeks of waiting for an answer. I'm still trying to process the news. My son was not eligible for speech therapy. They said his scores were too low to receive any assistance. How do I respond to that? He is not speaking and I am concerned with that. On the other hand it was nice to hear that there is nothing wrong with my son. They feel he is well above average in everything but expression and speech. His primary care physician feels the same way but is still sending him to see a ENT specialist. Yet one more thing to reassure the crazy mom who wants her son to speak already!

So right now I'm still not sure whether to scream or laugh but the one thing I am sure of is I will get through this.

Christmas 2010

Tuesday, December 28, 2010by Melissa | 2 comments | Labels: christmas, family, fun, togetherness

My one request for christmas was that my family get together and have dinner. Although not all my family was able to make it I think it turned out nice. My brother Tim just doesn't like family gatherings so opted out on coming and my little brother Charlie had to work or he would of been there. My sister Liz lives in California and couldn't afford to make it down for the holidays. My sister Belinda lives all the way in Virginia and even if invited I don't think she would of come.(but then again I never made the effort to ask) My family isn't very close so its hard to get everyone together. Gus has the same problem because he doesn't talk to his parents or brother and his sister has husband issues so couldn't make it. I'm not sure I really wanted his sister there anyway because she would of brought her husband who we just recently found out abuses her. I would of been miserable around him.

On Thursday, the day of the dinner I ran around like a crazy person trying to get things done. Jaidyn's car table was still not done, so that was just yet another task that needed to be done.We had to wrap the gifts and run a few errands while Jazz was still in school then home to clean up and start dinner.We made manicotti, breaded chicken, mashed potatoes and steamed veggies. My mom even made her famous punch. I didn't do much of the cooking because that is Gus's thing but helped with what I could. Dinner was a little late due to a mishap with the noodles but in the end turned out pretty good. I had a really nice time and so did my two little ones. My mom was there with my sister Nina and my niece and nephew Nesa and Miguel. Their aunt Charlene was there with all 4 of her kids Jocelyn, Jacob, Krystal and Charlie plus her boyfriend Curt. It was crowded but fun. The kids love being around their family. I was just happy I was able to pull it off with no issues. We did do a gift exchange at the party and from the looks on the kids faces they enjoyed our gifts. Although Krystal's didn't come, can you believe I'm still waiting on it. Its frustrating but I cant magically make it appear. She is a very understanding little girl. Lucky me! Jazz and Jaidyn enjoyed what they got also. Jaidyn got an interactive puzzle, which is something he enjoys and Jazz a kit to make her own lip balm.She opened it the same night and tried to do it with her cousin Krystal. I was happy, the kids were happy and that's all that matters.

On Friday we had another dinner at Gus's Friends moms house. It's a routine for the past few years to spend Christmas Eve there. We always have lots of fun. They have great food, lots of alcohol, and are amazing people to be around. They even went out and got us all gifts. I was kind of embarrassed because we didn't bring anything for them.(our understanding was no adult gift exchange) They got Jazz and Jaidyn these really nice character sleeping bags. Me and Gus got a waffle maker. They are too generous and we are lucky to have them in our lives. Jaidyn doesn't take to many people but he enjoys being around all of them. He even let Mitchel's mom feed him dinner.(I was shocked!) It was close to 10pm when we left and the kids were still up. Jazz was probably up with excitement about Santa coming.

Christmas morning around 2 am we filled the stockings and placed the gifts under the tree. We were very lucky that both kids slept till 8:30am. (ah sleep something I needed) I was kind of surprised at this because Jazz is normally up at the crack of dawn on Christmas. When they finally awoke and saw the presents their faces were priceless. They both grabbed gifts and started tearing things open. Jaidyn got so excited at one point he started dancing. It was so cute. All Jazmyn was concerned about was which gift was her DS. Which I have to say put a smile on my face to see her expression when she opened it. After they had opened everything up Jazmyn looked over at us and says "That's it! I didn't even get everything I asked for." I was so shocked I couldn't respond at first. I thought we had done good. She got the three things she said she wanted most. (The DS with accessory kit and games, Bop it, The Fushigi ball + lots more) I realized at that moment that everyone was right. My daughter is beyond spoiled! In a way this is our fault because what princess wants princess gets. That's how its been since she was born. She was my first and only for 7yrs. Trying hard not to be mad so we could enjoy the rest of the day I explained to her that she should just be grateful for what she got. If not I could always send the gifts back to Santa. I'm pretty sure this snapped her out of it because she smiled and said "I am grateful". What she didn't know at this point was that we had one more gift. We got her the electric scooter she has been asking for but it was in the process of being shipped. I cant wait to see her face! Although after what she said I am having second thoughts about giving it to her. Jaidyn seemed to love everything he got especially the car table we made from scratch. Everyone participated in making it a very special gift. Most of his gifts were able to be used with the table.

Gus and I got everything we wanted and more. We both got androids, A 42 inch flat screen TV. I got the Steve Madden coat I wanted so bad and Gus his Need for Speed, Halo, and Black Ops x box games. None of this mattered as much as having dinner with the family on Thursday and seeing the kids expressions when they opened their gifts.

After hrs of enjoying our new toys it was time to clean up. In the process I came across a little blue bag sitting on the tree. We were unsure who it was for so we asked Jazz since it was clearly a hand made gift from school. This was a very special moment for me. She almost put me in tears. She say "Oh, that's grandpa's gift". I thought she was talking about her adopted grandpa at first but she quickly corrected me. ("Not that grandpa mom, grandpa Charlie") She asked if we could place it on his grave. How sweat is that!

Our day wasn't over yet! We were invited to Christmas dinner at my sister Faiths house. This has also become a tradition.(works for me because we don't have to cook) They are like second family to me. Her son Angel and Jazmyn are very close, almost like siblings. Mom, Nesa and Miguel were also invited this year. It was nice to have everyone together! Dinner was great, we had calzones, potato balls, pesto and cheese raviolis. Everyone seemed to have a good time.(lots of laughing which is always good) This was also a gift exchange but thankfully they listened to the kids only part. Jazz got $30, a tripod flashlight and DS games. Jaidyn got 2 Thomas train sets. Angel and Tali loved their gifts from us and all the kids seemed quite satisfied for the night.

So as you can see we had an amazing 3 days. I couldn't of asked for a better Christmas! Oh I almost forgot, on Sunday we had my adopted brother Noel 21st birthday party and it was my nephew Miguel's birthday.