Today was just one of those days! I crawled out of bed at 7:15 only to find out there was a two hour delay and I could of slept in. I so could of used the extra sleep, my son has kept me up for two nights. I didn't mind having Jazmyn home because she kept Jaidyn occupied so I could attempt to get a few things done.(instead of taunting him) I was able to partially finish one of my tasks which was putting plastic up on the windows and make two phone calls. (yeah me!) Around 10:00 Jazz headed out to the bus stop only to return a few minutes later. Her bus had been in an accident down the street. I called the school only to be told that a new bus was already in route. Again I sent Jazz out to catch the bus but again she came back in saying the police told her to go inside. I called the school again and was told that the bus that was sent out missed our stop. I had to wait 20 min before they called back saying they were sending another one out. Finally after multiple phones calls and sending jazz out three times she got on the bus at around 11:40. Just the start to a wonderful day! (sarcasm)

After Jazz left Jaidyn started in with his crying. Nothing would calm him down! He went into my cabinet and got himself a pudding. Hoping this would calm him I opened it and sat him down. It did for a short while but it also made a huge mess! When he was done I figured a bath was in order so I started the tub. In the process of filling the tub he wiped his hands all over Jazmyn's couch. After getting him in the tub I attempted to clean the mess he had just made up. What a challenge that was since he didn't want to take a bath.(more screaming) I cleaned him up and laid him down for a nap. Thank god some peace, or so I thought. Instead of doing everything I was supposed to do I ended up on the phone with my mom helping her pick out my niece and nephews christmas gifts. Before I knew it Jaidyn came running into the living room screaming. I got really frustrated and yelled at him "will you shut up and go away". I know what a terrible thing to say but it just came out. Then I realized what time it was. It was almost 2:00 and he hadn't ate lunch yet so I made him lunch. I wish I could say that worked but he cried while he was eating too. I finally I just put his plate on the coffee table so it was in his reach and let him eat when he felt like it.

I had phone calls to make, the house house to clean, laundry to be done and folded. It may not seem like much but its hard when you have a kid either screaming in the back round, getting into to something or smothering you to death. At this point I had only got a few phone calls in and picked up the house a bit. I had one hr before I had to head out for my appointment. I took a chance, set up his blocks and hopped in the shower. That was a mistake! He dumped his lunch all over the floor, the blocks were everywhere and somehow he got  my eye glasses off the sink. Blind and frustrated I searched the house for my glasses. It was just luck I found them. (not broke or scratched) I finally was dressed and ready to go but the house was a mess. There was no time, I had to get to my appointment. After my appointment I had to stop at Micheal's craft store for the letter stencils I needed to finish Jaidyn's table and pick up a site to store shipment at Walmart. In the 2 1/2 hrs I was gone you would think Gus would of cleaned up a bit. Nope, I guess that was too much to ask. He did absolutely nothing the whole time I was gone except make dinner. (spaghetti with meat sauce) The house was more of a mess than I had left it.

I managed to scarf down my food while Gus prepared himself for darts. It wasn't long after he left that I realized, Jaidyn was soaked through everything. You would think Gus would at least change his son. This really frustrates me because he will do anything to avoid changing a diaper. At night if I don't get up with Jaidyn he wont get changed and Ill have to wash his bedding in the morning. If I could only make Gus see how it feels to wear his own pee and shit maybe he would make some effort. After giving Jaidyn another bath I started to clean up. Jazz needed to do her homework so I had to juggle cleaning and Jaidyn. It is so hard! He was running room to room turning on the radios and TV's. He ended up emptying yet another roll of toilet paper and wrecking Jazmyn,s room. Its like for every mess I clean up he makes 4 more. I just cant keep up anymore!I laid both the kids down in my bed and proceeded to start the letter stenciling on Jaidyn's table. It wasn't long before I got frustrated and gave up for the night.

Its 9:00, everything is finally quiet. I'm so tired but I need to vent. All I can think of is I have to do this all over again tomorrow. I feel like a single mom sometimes. ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Due to my concerns regarding my sons speech and behaviors I made the decision to get Early Intervention involved. I was so nervous to have someone coming in my home that I went crazy this morning trying to make things perfect. I felt like she would judge me if my house didn't sparkle. Jaidyn was not having it, every time I cleaned up one room he would mess something up in another. He went from room to room pulling the dirt out of all the flower pots, pulled all his books off the bookshelf, dumped apple sauce all over him, the chair and table. It did not stop there. He is such a handful sometimes, actually all the time. I thought I would have help from his father but nope. He left me to deal with it all! It would of been nice for him to stay, maybe voice his concerns and hear what the women had to say. Typical him depending on me to deal with it on my own. I did it though and things turned out alright.  

The women they sent out was very pleasant. She listened to my concerns making note of them and didn't judge me or make me feel like a bad parent. I felt comfortable talking to her. She told me how her daughter had severe separation anxiety so she knew how I was feeling. Its nice sometimes to hear that someone else is going or has went through the same thing as you. Although I didn't want to hear that it could take months if not years to go away. Jaidyn also made it very easy for her to understand. I really didn't have to tell her any of my concerns because my son showed her how over whelming he can be. At one point he took the papers out of my hands and threw them on the floor. (another words pay attention to me now!!!) I tried to lay him down for his nap so I could do the paperwork but he was not having that. He screamed every time I left the room and always came running back into the living room. The paperwork that should of taken just a few minutes ended up taking about a half hour. She also saw that he wasn't talking like he should be, just pointing and whining.On the positive side she feels that Jaidyn is doing everything else well above his age. This wasn't much of a surprise to me but still nice to hear. Our next step is setting up the assessment to see if he is eligible for services. I should know whats going on with in the next few weeks.

My son Jaidyn is a now 18 months old and still not talking. The doctor says he should be saying 8-10 words but he is not. I am truly becoming concerned. He says things or at least it sounds like he does but mostly he points and cries. Dont get me wrong because he is clear about what he wants, just doesn't speak it. He will lead you right to it and point. He understands directions such as pick that up and throw it out and no. Most people who meet my so are amazed by how smart he is. Am I pushing for too much too soon? Everyone I speak to tells me that boys don't pick things up as quickly as girls but I still worry. Maybe I am even just comparing his progress to where my daughter Jazmyn was at 18 months. Is this even a legitimate concern or am I just analyzing the situation too much?
Its not only the fact that he isn't speaking but his behaviors too. He is so attached to me that he is smothering me. How horrible is that?! (I FEEL SMOTHERED BY MY OWN CHILD) He needs me at all times to function, no one else will do. I have to be the one to read him the book, play blocks or change his diaper even though someone else is sitting right there. My sister says its the age but he has to do everything I do. If I'm doing dishes he has to be on the counter next to me cheering me on, he has to help me do the laundry, sweep the floors..... Dont get me wrong I would be grateful for the help if it didn't just cause more of a mess or make it more complicated. Listen to me, I'm complaining because my son wants to help but I cant even get my 8yr old to clean her room without an argument. LOL

Leaving Jaidyn anywhere is a very rare occurrence due to his separation anxiety. When I have appointments I have to make them short and sweat because he will scream the whole time until I come back for him. I almost feel guilty putting people through that, putting my son through it. It wasn't always like this, I used to be able to leave him with my mom but not so much anymore. Ever since her new boyfriend  came along my kids are not up there on the priority list. (sorry I had to throw that in) Now my son on the occasion she will babysit screams for her. He even screams for his dad but thankfully that is getting better.

So I am asking for your opinion. Is this normal?