Intro to my two beautiful children

Monday, November 29, 2010by Melissa | 4 comments | Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

When I was 16yrs old my whole life changed. I thought up until then that my life could get no worse but it did. I met this guy who at the time I thought was amazing. He treated me so special and gave me more attention then I had ever received. I felt loved but only because I had never known what that felt like. At 17yrs of age I gave myself to him thinking that he was the one, the one I would spend the rest of my life with. I was so wrong! He was just another disappointment, another painful memory. After finding  out that he had a wife and a son, I tried to leave but he just kept pulling me back in with lies. It wasn't long after I found out I was pregnant and the truth came out. He couldn't face me, so he wrote me the letter that changed my life. He told me he loved his wife and that he would never leave his family. He told me to drink bleach or get rid of the half bread baby growing inside me, that he would have no part in its life. I chose to keep the baby, so things got worse from there. He began calling and writing, saying hateful things. I cried often. I was almost 5 months along when I miscarried with my son. The first few months were the worst, I hated everyone and just wanted to lay in bed and cry.

Things were about to change for me, I just didn't know it. While me and my mother were on a walk I ran into an old friend from school. He listened to me, understood me, helped me get through that awful time in my life. It wasn't long after we began dating. I will never regret having my daughter but I wish I could change the reason I did. I was in pain, my heart ached for my child that I had lost. Due to this we made a decision one night that we should have a baby. Neither one of us said it then but the reasons were clear, we thought having this child would erase my pain but I know now that my heart will always carry that scar. So there you have it, my first regret! My beautiful daughter Jazmyn was born out of pain. This doesn't change how much I love her, how grateful I am to have been blessed with such an amazing little person. It just makes me love her so much more. She not only change my life for the better but gave me purpose. Jazmyn is 8yrs old now. She has grown into such an incredible young lady.
Jazmyn was an only child up until about 18 months ago when I gave birth to my wonderful son Jaidyn. What a surprise he was! You see, when I had Jazmyn the doctor said that it was very unlikely that I would be able to get pregnant again. So you can just imagine our surprise when the test came out positive. At first I didn't know how to feel about having another baby. I had just lost my job and wasn't sure financially or emotionally that having another baby was such a good idea. At one point I made the decision to have an abortion. Gus, the father of my two children and partner for 9yrs fought this decision. I didn't care what he thought and actually followed through with two appointments before I realized I was making a mistake. I think that sometimes we allow the stresses in life to pressure us into decisions we might regret later on. I'm just glad that I didn't make that mistake with my son. Jaidyn is 18 months old now, growing faster than I can keep up. He is so precious, both my children have truly brought joy into my life. My life just wouldn't be complete without them in it.

4 comments:

4timesblessed said...

Wow, that was a great write. Very deep and a great introduction to your daughter. Wonderful job. Now, Tell me about your son. Hee hee

4timesblessed said...

very nice

Bella @ If This is Motherhood said...

Great write. Paragraghs would make it a lot easier to read. Adorable kids and great profile pic.

Maddy said...

One heck of an introduction and yes, they make all the difference.

Post a Comment