I am not asking anymore, I am telling you!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011by Melissa | 6 comments | Labels: , ,

My 8yr old Jazmyn is just out of control. She seems to think the whole world revolves around her. Everything is an argument. Sometimes I wish she would just shut up and do what I asked her to do. At 8yrs old I don't think its too much ask for her to stop whining and just do it. Its gotten to the point where I don't ask her anymore, I tell her. This way she doesn't think I am giving her an option. Its like she regressed, like I'm starting all over again. I knew that when I had my son things were going to change but not like this. Her behavior is unexceptionable, we have done our best to keep things as they were. Its hard to give 100% of you to two kids at the same time. I have learned that this is impossible, I am only one person! Jaidyn is still very young, therefor needs more tending to.

 The word spoiled keeps getting thrown around when discussing my daughter. A spoiled child (also called a spoiled brat!) is a child that exhibits behavioral problems from overindulgence by his or her parents (don't forget everyone else!). Yes, I admit my daughter was and is very spoiled. In fact spoiled could be my daughters first name for. What she wants she has got and more since she was born. If we didn't get it for her someone else did. In my defense she was supposed to be an only child. Maybe its guilt but what do I have to be guilty for (having Jaidyn?). If you ask her she will tell you " you don't pay attention to me, your always yelling, we don't do what we used to and most of all I don't get everything I did before. Although that's not much of an excuse is it? I find myself always wanting more for her, yet at the same time knowing she needs less. Part of my problem is I want to give her everything I didn't have and more. Again I admit I have taken this to another level. Now I have to fix the problem but Im having a very hard time doing this.

I don't expect very much of her, she has to do well in school, keep her room clean, keep her laundry off the floor, feed and water the dog (sometimes the cat). In her eyes I am asking too much, so she fights me all the way. It takes her hours to clean her room when its a 20 min job if that. Most of the time is spent whining! She would rather throw her clothes on the floor then take the few steps to the laundry basket. I have to say this drives me up the wall. Most of the time I even end up feeding and watering all the animals. The one positive thing is she does very well in school! Which I admit is most important to me.

Lately due to her behavior I have been yelling a lot and being very negative. At times you could probably see the steam coming out my ears. She is truly making me that frustrated! On Thursday night I told her that her room needed to be cleaned Friday night in order for us to do anything over the weekend. It wasn't that easy! She fought with me, telling me that she thought I had already did it. Are you kidding me, all she had to do was look around! I did pick up the blankets off the floor and fixed her couch but that was it. So in the end nothing got accomplished. I sent her to bed at 6:00pm cause I just couldn't deal with it. It didn't end there because every time I turned around she was out of her room playing or watching the living room TV. She has a habit of just ignoring me.
Saturday, I didn't want to stay home and fight with her about her room so we visited her aunt Char.(even though she didn't deserved to go no where!) We had a good time, even ended up staying the night. It was nice to spend some time with them. Char and I stayed up playing just dance till we dropped. We haven't spent time like that in a while. On Sunday,Char had plans to go sleigh riding and we decided to meet up at the hill. We got home around 10:00am to get dressed and head out to meet them. Even though Jazz still hadn't cleaned her room! She gave us such trouble getting ready I was about to cancel and just stay home. Her problem was she wanted to place her gloves on before her boots but then couldn't get her boots on. When she was told to take the gloves off to do it she freaked. Instead she wanted me to just put the boots on for her. WTF! Just do what I said. If you cant get your boots on with your gloves on take them off! Seriously as if I didn't have enough to do. Finally I yelled out " Take your gloves off and put your own fucking boots on or we don't go!" An hour later, she finally did it. Her father felt we should just stay home but I felt like that would of been unfair to Jaidyn plus I couldn't get a hold of my sister. After sleigh riding everyone came over for lunch. After everyone left it was time to tackle what I had been stalling on. Once again she fought about doing it saying " I didn't even make the mess". I finally gave up, placing everything in a pile in the middle of her floor. She had off school Monday and her father off work so we had plans to make it a family fun day. The one stipulation was that her room needed to be cleaned before we had to leave for Jaidyn's dentist appointment. I guess she was just as sick as me of arguing about it because she had it done.

We ended up going to Friendly's for lunch, then the arcade, and then Funny-E Farm. She was nasty at lunch, extremely greedy in the arcade but did OK at Funny-E Farm until it was time to leave. Do you see what I mean by spoiled! I just wish that she would be more grateful even appreciative of what she gets. Instead nothing is good enough!


Anonymous said...

Speaking hypocritically of course (no that wasn't a typo. I am a hypocrite), what you focus on you get more of. It must be all 8 year olds. Hang in there. I've heard that somewhere, someday, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Melissa said...

Thanks Bella

4timesblessed said...

Just wanted to share the Stylus Blogger Award with you. http://www.autismasawhole.com/2011/01/stylus-blogger-award.html

•´.¸¸.•¨¯`♥.Trish.♥´¯¨•.¸¸.´• said...

It's hard being a mum some days. I have no advice She sounds just like my 17yr son - and he should know better. I am at my wits end too.
I hope you find a peaceful solution to bring harmony & cooperation back into your relationship (& home).

Heidi said...

My 5-year-old is becoming a major sass and I am not looking forward to her tween and teen years! Not to mention her younger sisters are bringing up the rear so my husband and I will be outnumbered while trying to deal with it all. Deep breath. And thank you so much for visiting my site and for your lovely comments!

SAHMlovingit said...

Just stumbled across your blog today. It's lovely! Nice to meet you :)

Sounds like you're going through what my friend is going through and funnily enough her daughter is 8 too. Hopefully it's a phase she'll be through soon.

p.s. Have signed up on google friend connect to follow you

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