It's report card time! Normally this is not a stressful time for me. My daughter does well in school with very little difficulties. She has always had trouble staying focused but this has not held her back much. The school she goes to has been very supportive, giving her the help she needs even though she doesn't qualify for it. They allowed her to wear headphones if she felt distracted, played classical music for a calming environment, even placed her in a class with 3 or more teachers. Her teacher from last year is still involved, checking up on her every once in a while.

 I got her report card this week. She dropped in everything, went from a straight A student to a B-C student. I am so disappointed. I know that she is passing but I just don't want her to start slacking. I know she is capable of more. To make it worse I had a meeting with her teachers and got some bad news. When I walked into that meeting I wasn't prepared for what I was approached with. They feel that Jazmyn has trouble processing and want to send her for testing. They feel that she is an amazing kid but struggles to keep up. How do I take this? She has been a straight A student up until this point, what more do they want. She is even still passing.

In my heart I know they are just trying to look out for her. Trying to make sure she will get and continue to have the help she needs now and in the future. I should be thanking them, being grateful that I have people looking out for my daughter but instead I am unsure how to feel. My emotions are going crazy! Maybe just because I don't want to except that there might be something wrong, that she might struggle through life instead of walk through it as I pictured. I am so pathetic, sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I didnt even notice that my child was struggling.

Something else is bothering me about the meeting though. I felt as if they were questioning my parenting. At one point they told me that she seemed very stressed, that I should be careful how hard I push her. Maybe they are right. I am pretty hard on her, I just want her to know how important a good education is. I don't want her to be like me, struggling to get a job because I only got my GED. It was really hard to say that! Once again I have made this about me. What kind of mother am I?

Part of her struggles probably come from the fact that I am not as involved as I was or would like to be. As all of you already know my son at 22months is still not talking very well. He says very little and what he does say he isn't consistent with. Screaming seams to be all he does anymore. Due to his need for my undivided attention I haven't been consistent with my daughter. Often sending her off to due her homework instead of sitting with her to do it, forgetting to test her on her words or being unable to read with her at night. She needs this but I am struggling to give it to her.

Her grades are not the only thing changing for the worst. She is more disrespectful and argumentative lately. My baby girl wants my attention so bad that she will take any at all. I don't want to spend my moments with her upset and yelling. I would rather shower her with positive attention but its been so hard.

Now that I got it out I have to tell you that I have made some changes. I have made it a nightly routine to brush our teeth, hair, then cuddle and read together.(the three of us) On the nights that their father doesn't work he is in charge of occupying Jaidyn while I help jazz with her homework. I have also made a promise to myself and daughter not to be so hard on her. After all she is just a child! I hope that by making some changes at home and allowing the school to do the testing, if necessary even get her the help she needs will help her.