Letting them grow, learn, make mistakes and become their own person

Tuesday, April 5, 2011by Melissa | 0 comments | Labels: , , , ,

 Tonight I had a very long discussion with my sister regarding the phrase "As parents we need to give our children space to let them grow, learn, make mistakes and  become their own person". It became a very deep 2hr long discussion. Not that I minded because I enjoy hearing her point of view, she can be very insightful. She always brings up some good points that get me thinking. I hope no one takes offense to this post or takes it as a personal attack because in no way am I trying to do that. I'm just stating my opinion on the subject.

Nothing is black and white in parenting. Regarding the phrase "As parents we need to give our children space to let them grow, learn, make mistakes and become their own person" I agree but fear that its been taken out of context. No where in this statement does it say that you should let your children raise themselves. It is just simply telling you not to hover over their every decision, allow them to make mistakes but still be there for them at the same time. Children still need guidance, rules, boundaries and stability. They might not always like what we say or expect of them but its important for them to hear and know. Don't get me wrong because I myself make errors in how I handle things but I just feel we need to be more aware. It is our responsibility as parents. Sure they may still make stupid mistakes but at least they were guided in the right direction. I think today many of us are slacking in this department.

Have you noticed how many young girls are running around half dressed. They barley look their age anymore. Just the other day I saw a young girl maybe 14yrs of age wearing see through leggings with no panties. I wanted to pull the car over, give her a lesson in what is appropriate and whats not.Where was her mother when she left the house? These young girls have no respect for themselves, portraying themselves as something they are not let alone can handle. Dressing the way they do also causes them to become targets to all those sickos. It doesn't help that stores are selling these provocative clothes either. I was looking for skirts for my 8yr old, after 4 stores I still hadn't found one that was a comfortable length. They were all way to short!

Not only are they dressing inappropriately but are sexually active at a younger age now too. Getting pregnant as young as 11yrs old both willing and accidentally. Where was the guidance these children needed? How does this keep slipping past the parents or for that matter the school because that's where it seems to be happening more often? This is disturbing to me! Action needs to be taken! There are free clinics yet the pregnancy and disease rate is still rising in our young. Did you know 65 million people are currently living with incurably sexual transmitted diseases and nearly 2/3 of all STD's occur in people younger than 25 years of age.

Some parents are even allowing their children to do drugs and drink as long as its in their own home. They have the notion that they will be safer that way. In some way I can see their point but in another your giving the child the idea that its OK. There are drug and alcohol laws for a reason. I'm aware that all teenagers or most at some point will try drugs but is this a rational way of thinking.

I am not putting it all on the parents because I think it depends on the situation. I am simply saying that in most cases a little guidance and discipline can go a long way. I'm going to end my rant now. Thanks for reading.


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