The homework incident.

Friday, December 17, 2010by Melissa | 1 comments | Labels: , , ,

Let me first start off by telling you that my daughter is a straight A student. She rarely gets in trouble in school and the few times she has were for chatting in class. I am extremely strict when it comes to her education because I would like her to succeed. What I am about to tell you might be shocking because it was for me. I mean she is only eight years old to pull such a stunt.

Wednesday when I asked Jazmyn if she had homework she told me " No, I did it on the bus". I was extremely busy so I just took her word for it.(that was my first mistake) You see, Gus and I had made plans to have dinner and see a movie before he left for San Diego on Thursday. I had to get everything cleaned up and the kids  packed to go to their aunt Kim's. I'm not even going to get into it right now but we ended up not going at all. We got home around 7:30- 8:00 and so I started to get thing set for the next day while she changed into her PJ's. Everyday I have to review and sign her organizer. When I was reviewing her work I realized that it wasn't Jazmyn's hand writing. I lost it! Not only did someone else do the work but they put wrong answers. I know my daughter knows that 9+2 doesn't equal 4.

I demanded to know who had done the homework but she just kept saying " I did it" "I told you I did it on the bus". She even tried to convince me that she could write like that but only in school. I told her I knew she was lying and that she needed to tell me the truth now because the longer she waits the more trouble she would be in. Still she insisted that she did her homework. I even showed her how everyone's hand writing is different but she didn't break. I was already mad about what had happened at their aunts house and had absolutely no PATIENCE for her crap. At this point I had enough, so I took her homework and ripped it to peaces. She freaked out saying "I'm gonna get in so much trouble" "My teacher is going to be so mad".  I than started to look at the work in her folder from the week and realized it had occurred more than once. I probably would of caught it earlier if I was the only one checking her work. I had appointments this week, so some days Gus did it with her. He never checked her work when she said that she did it on the bus. This was my breaking point!! I told her I would be visiting her teacher the next day and sent her to bed.

In the morning I asked her once again before school if she was ready to tell me the truth. She continued to lie. I needed a second opinion so I brought the work even the ones I ripped up to show her teacher. The teacher agreed that this was not her writing.  She than explained to Jazz that everyone's hand writing was different, that there was no use in lying because we already knew someone else did it. The teacher reassured me that Jazmyn would be doing the work over at snack time and that they would keep a eye out. I felt like we had still gotten no where because Jazz still insisted she had done it but at least someone else saw it too. After leaving the classroom I went to see the principle so he could deal with the other child. I knew exactly who the girl was. It was Lisette, one of the 4th graders that live in the park too. The principle said he would be discussing the situation with her and her parents. I still question whether I took it to far getting the other girl in trouble but whats done is done.

When Jazmyn got home from school I figured I would try asking her one last time before grounding her for life. I very calmly said "Are you ready to tell me the truth yet" but she shook her head no. A few seconds later she said "Lisette took my homework and did it but I didn't ask her to". I explained to her that if that was the case she should of told me when I asked her about her homework not lied about it. I told her that lying about it just made things worse. That If she would of said something when she got off the bus that day I wouldn't of been mad and she wouldn't be grounded.

I am very disappointed in my daughters actions and can only hope they wont be repeated in the future. I am being told that me grounding of three days isn't sufficient but I feel like this is her first time pulling something like this. Her father wants to ground her till the 30th but I feel like that is too harsh.  Her adopted grandma says to ground her for 2 months but that's even harsher. I don't want her to do this again, so I know she needs to see that her action have consequences. Where do you draw the line? It seems like I'm so good at giving everyone else parenting advice but do it with my own kids.


Anonymous said...

I understand your confusion. First of all, I think ripping her homework up was probably a little bit harsh, but I understand how you could be so frustrated.

Second of all, it sounds like you need to trust yourself. Over-reaction runs in the family lol. Don't fall into that trap. Most children don't learn from harsh. They just learn not to get caught next time. Jasmine needs to understand WHY she should not have someone else doing her homework, rather than WHY you knew someone else had done it. At eight, 3 days is appropriate. One of the most important things we can teach our children is that mistakes are a good thing and a learning experience but also that forgiveness is important. Sounds like your grounding was fair, but you should gently instill the value of hard work by praising greatly the amount of time she puts into her homework or the quality of the work. Check out Easy to love, Difficult to discipline for more on this.

Post a Comment